Hopelessly Hermione
by RoonilWazlib29
Summary: Hermione Granger was the brightest witch of her age. She liked to think she still was, what with undergoing ministry training to become a member of the Department of Magical Law enforcement. She thought she could do anything. But there was one thing that she still hadn't quite worked out, and that was her feelings towards her best friend, a tall, lanky, freckly ginger.


_**A/N This is my first fic so its not the best I realise but I did try my best. In terms of timeline everything happens cannonically, except in this story Hermione and Ron don't get together in Deathly Hallows. Its set about 2 years after they graduate Hogwarts. Happy Reading :)**_

 **Hopelessly Hermione**

'Oi Hermione, you in here?' Ginny shouted as she clambered through the front door. Hermione could hear the red headed whirlwind all the way from her room; Ginny never could do anything gently. Ever since they'd started living together in their tiny London flat Hermione had learned it could never really be quiet with Ginny around, something that she often cursed when she had exams at work. She was studying for those exams now, she had almost finished her training with the ministry, and was only 2 months and 4 exams away from being a fully-fledged member of the Department of Magical Law enforcement, and she could barely wait.

'I'm in my room Ginny' she shouted back, closing her book and putting it down on her desk. There was no point trying to revise now Ginny was home after all, and anyway she'd been going all day, she didn't quite realise how late it was.

Ginny wandered into her room, her wand between her teeth as she was carrying Crookshank's, and he was definitely a two-hand job. She threw him down on the bed, where, with a half-hearted meow, he promptly made himself a nest in Hermione's blankets and went to sleep, before she plopped down herself.

'Blimey,' she said, taking her wand from her mouth and tucking it into her hair, 'what a day I've had. I must have been hit by at least 4 bludgers at training today, as well as a beater bat at one point. And then Ron came to meet me for lunch and he was in a right sour mood, unbearable really. Lavender broke up with him again.'

A tiny piece of Hermione's heart started to fly. One of her deepest darkest secrets was how she felt about Ron. In short, she'd carried a torch for him for the past 5 years of their friendship. Something that often proved difficult considering he was one of her best friends. She had been mooning over him for the past few years, watching in horror and a little bit of heartbreak every time he got back with Lavender Brown, his on again off again girlfriend, sometimes even crying into some ice cream that Ginny always knew to have on hand for such a situation. Ginny was the only other person to know about Hermione's infatuation, and she definitely wanted to keep it that way.

'Oh really?' Hermione said carefully, not wanting Ginny to read more into her voice than she should. 'That'll be nice for him, means he doesn't have to wear that stupid gold chain anymore.'

'Ha-ha yeah, George will have to find something else to bully him mercilessly for.' Ginny replied '…so how do you feel about this?'

Hermione twisted her wand round in her hands 'How do I feel? I feel fine yeah sure what do you mean…'

'Really,' said Ginny, a knowing look spreading across her face. 'Not happy? Sad? I don't know what's running through your mind but you know… now would be a perfect time to make a move.'

'Oh I knew that was coming! No Ginny ok, you say this every time him and Lavender break up. I am not telling him how I feel and that's that.'

'Oh come on Hermione it's been 5 years! Just do something! You're the one who always gets upset when you find out he's with her again. You're the one that gets through tubs and tubs of crying ice cream. Surely you must feel awful.'

Hermione started to get annoyed 'Yes of course I do! Every time I see him with someone else or hear him talking about someone else it's like a punch in the gut. You know blatantly well that I hate feeling this way, that I'm sick of letting some stupid boy affect my everyday life. But it's pointless!'

'Look as much as I really don't want to think about you and my brother, I really think you need to just say something. Two things could happen, either he says yes and you live the life you've been imagining in your head, or he says no and you can finally start to get over him. You need to admit this has been going on for way to long and your little puppy dog eyes you do when you think he can't see you stopped being endearing years ago.'

'You know I can't tell him how I feel! It would be friendship suicide, he would just say no. Or worse he would laugh in my face. We wouldn't be the same afterwards.'

'How do you know he's going to say no? And of course, you would be the same, you'll still be friends.'

'I just know ok. He's practically said that he'd never want to. And anyway, we definitely would not be friends afterwards. Don't you remember back at school? How many times did the two of us and Harry fall out, over nothing as well! If I told him how I felt about him he'd never be able to look at me the same way.'

Hermione buried her head into the pillow. she thought maybe if she pretended for a little bit that she didn't have this problem, if she just kept hiding in the pillow it would go away. Needless to say, it didn't. She emerged from the pillow, having only achieved making her face red, but feeling a little better after hiding, to look up at Ginny's face. The red headed girl looked at her with a mixture of affection and concern.

'Look, Hermione, you can do what you want ok, I can't make you do anything. I just think that spending all this time worrying about this stuff just makes you suffer more. If you get it over with and say something, maybe you can move on. The only person you're hurting by keeping all of this bottled-up is you.'

She paused for a minute, then added with a cheeky grin 'Well and me, I have to keep listening to it. Just think about it yeah?' With a final stroke of Hermione's hair and a wink, Ginny left, leaving Hermione to think about the things she said. It was true, it really wasn't logical to be hurting like this over something so silly. Well, not silly, but unnecessary. Maybe Ginny was right, maybe Hermione just had to let it out and then she could start getting over it, after all she was sure Ron would say no. or more likely he'd say nothing out of shock and turn a very fetching shade of tomato red before running off to tell his brother. Hermione winced at the thought of that, it was bad enough Ginny knew about her obsession, it would be mortifying for the rest of the Weasley's to find out. Or worse, Harry. But Ginny was right, this had gone on for far too long. What started as a silly crush back at Hogwarts had now turned into a full-blown infatuation and it was starting to affect her life. She couldn't think straight when she was around him, and when she was away from him everything just felt numb. It would be nice to actually go out with a boy, and not just imagine it was Ron on the rare occasions someone took her out on a date. Or maybe Ron would even say yes and their relationship would be easy. She already knew everything about him, if they did ever get together surely it would just be like now, just with a bit more kissing. Whatever the case, she was just sick of feeling the way she did, it would be great if she could get back to some normality with her emotions, even if she did have to go through a bit of heartbreak first.

Hermione sighed, she'd made a decision without even deciding to. As she pulled on her pyjamas and got into her bed, pushing Crookshanks out of the way to give her some space before huddling under her covers. She was going to tell Ron Weasley that she was in love with him, tomorrow, before she could lose her nerve.

This was going to go terribly.

Hermione had tried in vain to get to sleep that night. She'd tossed and turned so much that when she got up in the morning her hair was ten times bushier than normal. Crookshanks could have been hiding in there and she wouldn't have been able to tell. She started to de-fuzz her hair as she got ready for the day ahead, picking out some clothes in her mind as she stared frantically into the mirror. You could tell that her mind was elsewhere, as she couldn't remember where she'd put her wand. Usually she left it neatly on her bedside table, just in case she needed it in the night, but that went out the window after her conversation with Ginny last night as it was nowhere to be seen. Cursing under her breath, Hermione began looking for it, praying Crookshanks hadn't gotten a hold of it. Eventually she found it in a box of sugar quills – Merlin knows how it got there- which unfortunately meant she could no longer procrastinate. It was time to go and face up to the thing that had been haunting her for over 5 years.

She popped her head into Ginny's bedroom before heading to the fireplace. She was sat on her bed reading a magazine when she saw Hermione, giving her a reassuring smile.

'You ok?' Ginny said carefully

'Yeah fine,' Hermione replied. 'I'm… I'm going to go see Ron.'

Ginny's face lit up like a Christmas tree, 'Really?!'

'Yes, don't say anything I'm trying really hard to keep it together.'

'Ok fine no problem my lips are sealed.'

Hermione rolled her eyes at her best friend before walking to the front room where the fire was stoked and ready. She grabbed a handful of green powder from the little jar that sat on the mantelpiece, thinking that she should remember to buy some more while she was out; she may as well get something positive out of this trip. She threw the powder into the fire and said to the flames 'Weasley's Wizard Wheezes!' before stepping into the hearth. With a flash of green, the view of her living room morphed into he familiar sight of the Joke Shop. Every time she went in there she forgot how noisy it was, with bangs and whistles going off every few seconds, as well as the laughter from delighted children running around the shop. Colours flashed before her eyes as the Weasley's familiar fireworks blasted around the room; a dragon in one corner and beautiful birds flying in another, as well as delicious smells wafting through the air that she knew came from the shops stack of love potions piled onto a table next to her. Hermione loved it at the joke shop, but every time she went in to visit she couldn't help feeling sad. Everyone had mourned the loss of Fred several years before, but no one more than George. They were two halves of a whole, and despite the brave face George put on in front of his family, Hermione could often see the hurt in his eyes. Being here just reminded her that there should be two of them, and how much of a struggle it was for George. Taking a moment to catch her bearings, and recover from her sadness, Hermione stepped out of the fireplace to be greeted by none other than the Weasley himself.

'Hermione!' George beamed. 'Always a delight to see my favourite clevercloggs, how is ministry training going?'

'Hi George, good to see you too!' Hermione exclaimed, reaching up to give him a hug. 'And yeah, it's alright, almost finished now! But my mentor is getting on my nerves though, she's about a million years old keeps talking to me like I'm about 5. Plus she properly fancies Harry, he came to visit me once and she still hasn't stopped talking about it. I think she wants me to set them up!'

'Ha-ha well you should definitely do that! I'm sure he'd love it, you know how much he loves the attention.'

'Of course he does, and Ginny would love it too I'm sure,' Hermione smiled.

'Oh come on you know she'd find it absolutely hilarious, I'm surprised she hasn't offered to help. Anyway, my sister and probable future brother in law aside, to what do I owe the pleasure of your visit? You know I'm a very busy man,' George winked.

Hermione laughed, taking a moment to dodge whatever flying contraption that was hurtling towards her, before replying 'Well I hate to disappoint, but I'm actually here to see your brother, do you know where he is?'

'Oh, you mean my oaf of a shop assistant? I cut all familial ties with him when I started paying him wages, means I can make fun of him more.'

'You already made fun of him.'

'I know but this way I can pull rank. He's upstairs, he went to get some more Canary creams an hour ago, and still hasn't come down, either he's fallen asleep or he's gotten lost in the storeroom. Either way it keeps him out of my hair-,' George turned abruptly to his left, noticing a small boy playing with a pygmy puff. 'Oi you, be careful with him, he's not a toy! Sorry Hermione, duty calls, make sure you say bye before you leave!' And with that, Mr Weasley of Weasley's Wizard Wheezes was off, his purple robes flying out in a flourish behind him. Hermione smiled at his retreating back; conversations with George were always a whirlwind, and often ended up with someone turning into a fluffy animal, but she savoured them all the same. She walked over to the spiral staircase that lead to the storeroom, hopping over the little sign that said _Staff Only_ and headed on up.

The joke shops storeroom was certainly a sight to behold and being able to go in there was truly a treat. The room encompassed all the chaos of the shop downstairs, with colours sights and sounds springing miraculously from everywhere. But the real fun came in the fact George, with Hermione's help, had cast some very careful but very clever charms on the space. What used to be a broom cupboard was now a huge room just a bit smaller than a football field, filled to the brim with rows upon rows of shelves and cabinets, stretching high into the vast ceiling. George wasn't exaggerating when he said Ron could have gotten lost, the shelves were a labyrinth, full of objects that, let's be honest, were not the safest to be around. The best way to navigate around the shelves was by an enchanted ladder that had wheels so it could zoom you around the room at top speeds. Hermione climbed on the ladder nearest to her, gave it a tap with her wand, and off they went in search of Ron.

'Ron? Ron, are you in here?' She shouted, hoping he'd be able to hear her over the din of fireworks and other miscellaneous noises.

'Hermione?' Said a muffled voice, 'Hermione is that you?'

'Yes! Where are you Ron?'

'I'm down here I'm stuck-hang on!' there was a pause followed by a huge flash of light as a rainbow sprung out from one of the aisles, no doubt from one of Georges products. Hermione directed the ladder towards it, zooming towards the source of the blast before jumping off, finding nothing but a large pile of boxes that had haphazardly fallen off the shelves.

'Ron? Are you in there' Hermione said, giving the pile a poke with the end of her wand.

'Oi that hurt! Yes, I'm in here, will you please these off me, I've been stuck here for an hour!'

'Yeah sure, give me a minute,' Hermione said, trying hard not to laugh as she picked a spell in her head from the many she had committed to memory over the years.

'Wingardium Leviosa', she said, with the appropriate wand movement of course, and the boxes all began to move, revealing a very crumpled, very distressed red head.

'Ugh thank Merlin you're here. I don't know how long I would have been stuck there. You really are my hero Hermione,' he said as he got to his feet, brushing the dust off if his slightly too small robes.

'Calm down, you're exaggerating a little bit, it's just a few boxes, couldn't you have moved them yourself?'

'Moved them myself?! Do you know what's in them? They're full of those _Eduardo's Unbreakable Egg_ things, and you know how heavy they are. But anyway Hermione, it's good to see you, blimey it's been ages, come here,' he said, wrapping Hermione in a big bear hug.

'Ron I saw you the other day, we went for lunch with Harry, remember?' Hermione said, her voice muffled against his shoulder. He was so much taller than her, which Hermione really loved. For a moment, she forgot everything and let herself get into his hug, savouring the feeling. He was a good hugger, the fact he was tall helped that, but there was something about it, something wonderful that just made Hermione feel safe. She wished she could freeze time and just live in that moment forever, but with a sigh she remembered what she'd came here to do, and there was no use prolonging it anymore. She untangled herself from Ron's arms before saying, 'I actually came here to talk to you about something, is there anywhere we can go that's a bit quieter?' Ron looked a bit alarmed at the prospect, no doubt running through his head what he could have done wrong. But whatever trepidation he may have had he swallowed it down, gesturing Hermione to get back on the ladder before rocketing to the door.

He led her out of the storeroom and through a purple door across the hallway. This was the main office of the shop, and whilst it was still shrouded in the familiar sense of chaos that was characteristic of the Weasley's, it was almost silent, the only noises being the muffled laughter from downstairs.

'So, Ron said, looking around the room a bit awkwardly, 'what is it you wanted to talk about?'

'Well, basically um,' Hermione faltered. She wasn't used to not knowing what to say, and now any and all words she could use had flown out of her head. She forced herself to calm down, giving herself a stern talking to in her mind. Ron wasn't scary. Ron was just… Ron. Everything would be ok, she just needed to get it out.

She took a deep, shaky breath and just blurted out 'look Ron, I just wanted to say something. I.. basically, I like you. As in more than a friend. Like in love with you like you. I, I have for a while, well the past few years. And I know you don't feel the same about me and that's fine, I just need to get it out so I can start getting over it. Because I value your friendship above anything else, and I really really me being stupidly in love with you doesn't change anything. So yeah, that's what I had to say, hopefully next time I see you we can pretend this conversation never happened.' She stopped talking, unsure how fast she'd blurted out all of that information. She didn't look at Ron, she couldn't face it. She didn't even wait for him to say anything before turning on her heels and heading for the door.

'Wait, what are you doing?' Ron said, a surprising hint of annoyance in his voice.

Hermione span back around, meeting his bright blue eyes, unsure what emotions were present there. She spoke carefully, she didn't want to get emotional and make the situation infinitely more horrible. 'What do you mean what am I doing, I'm walking away to preserve what little dignity I have left.'

'No, you can just walk away- you've decided what I'm going to say before I've even said it!'

'Well yeah,' Hermione said, confused. 'You've made your feelings about me crystal clear. What is it you say, that you'd rather snog a house elf than come anywhere near me with your mouth? That you're glad you don't have to put up with me when I get moody?'

'Ah well, that's beside the point…You don't get to take peoples choices away from them!'

'That's not fair and you know it isn't. What am I supposed to do? You've blatantly told me you wanted nothing to do with me in that way, what else is that supposed to mean but a big fat no! I know I know you pretty well but I can't read your mind Ron, if you say something I'm going to assume you mean it.'

'That's not what I'm saying and you know it. Why now? Why not years ago? And what about all those guys you've been out with?'

'None of them mattered!' Hermione shouted, she was angry now, this wasn't how she imagined this conversation was going to go. 'None of them ever mattered! Why do you think they never lasted past the first few weeks? Why do you think I fancied an unhealthy amount of people at Hogwarts?'

'You fancied an unhealthy amount of people?' Ron frowned

'YES! I just never talked about it I was too busy with school or whatever trouble we happened to get into at the time. But don't you see? they were just distractions, stupid attempts to ignore my feelings for you. But I can't ignore them anymore ok. Because it's terrible. Every time you've been with someone and every time they've let you down has been hell. I just want you to be happy. I would do anything to make you happy, anything to give you what you deserve. But I would bloody love it if you could be happy with me. I know you. Inside and out. I know your flaws, I know every annoying little detail and I'm still stupidly in love with you. And that's the worst part. I love everything about you. I love the way you see the good in everyone, the way that you run your hands through your hair when you get nervous, or how you would do anything for your friends. I even love the annoying stuff, how you never shut up about quidditch, or how you're so nosy, or even the way you have an unhealthy obsession with gravy and can't get within 10 feet of a pie without devouring it- '

'Alright calm down' Ron said, a little flustered having all his flaws pointed out to him.

'No,' Hermione continued, 'I need to get it out. Don't you understand, I'm not being critical it all just fuels the fire. In my eyes, you can do no bloody wrong. You're irritating and do things that blow my mind they're so annoying, but none of that matters. You're perfect. And I'm so in love with you that I forget how much I hate everything else. But none of that matters ok? Because we just weren't meant to be. And I'm the one that's going to have to be ok with that. Not you, not anyone else, I'm the one who has to live with it. But that's ok, because I'm just the shade standing in the way of your sun. So, I'm going to walk away now. And tomorrow, if you can forgive me, well pretend like this never happened. We'll go back to the way it was and everything will be fine because you will be my friend and that is all I care about.'

Hermione took a very uncertain breath of air, closed her eyes and turned away. She hadn't meant to lose her temper like that, not when she was telling someone she was in love with them. That's not how it's supposed to be done. The past was in the past though, and there was nothing more to be said. She started to walk away, shoving her hands in her pockets when something completely unexpected happened.

She felt a hand on her arm.

He'd stopped her. Ron Weasley had stopped her from walking away. She slowly turned back to him, too scared to look him in the eye so she stared at his hand instead. He had the hands of a pianist, long and soft and right now, very warm. Hermione plucked up the courage to look at his face, just for a second, just to figure out was happening.

It was a mistake.

He was looking at his hand too, but had the strangest look in his eyes. Like he knew he wanted to say something, but couldn't quite remember what. He looked like Hermione felt. Confused, but hopeful. God she was so hopeful, there was a tiny part of her brain screaming for joy.

He still hadn't said anything.

Why had he stopped her. Why hadn't he let her walk away. And why hadn't he said anything yet. Hermione could feel herself going crazy. She was ready to walk away and go home to Ginny, who definitely would have some ice cream. She might even have roped her mother into it and gotten her to bake a cake. Either way, she wanted this to be over with. She debated whether to just continue to walk out the door when Ron spoke with a very quiet voice

'Why would I need to forgive you?'

Of all the things she thought he was going to say, that wasn't it. 'What?' Hermione replied

'Why would I need to forgive you? he asked again. 'Why would you need my forgiveness you haven't done anything wrong?'

'I, um, well I kind of have,' Hermione spluttered, 'I've probably ruined our friendship. I mean, you're not going to act the same around me now I've told you. This is going to be what drives a wedge between us. So yeah. I'm sorry.'

'Don't apologise. Honestly Hermione you don't need to bloody apologise for having emotions! Jesus Christ your feelings matter! And besides what do you think you're doing, you've decided what I'm going to say before you've even said it, you're walking away without giving me a chance.'

'I… I don't understand.'

'Just,' he sighed, 'I'm sorry I'm getting frustrated. But god you drive me insane. You're so stubborn, you get these ideas into your head and then that's it that's all you'll believe. You really think that there's no possible way on earth I could like you in that way, don't you? And don't lie to me I know you too well

'I… I just.'

'You just presumed again, right? Well you really need to stop that.'

'I'm sorry I'm so confused, what are you trying to say?

'Look, Hermione. I, I guess I have feelings for you too. Ok? Admittedly they're very confusing and I'm not really sure what to feel and I know I've literally just been dumped by Lavender, but this is something different. Everything you said, about being perfect, is exactly how I feel about you. You're not the thing standing in the way of my sun, blimey Hermione you are the sun. I know I've always felt something for you, and it's always been stronger than anything I've ever felt for Lavender, but I've never been brave enough to tell you. I always thought it was going to be you and Harry to be honest, until he started dating my sister. But I was going to tell you someday, I really was; if we can fight in a wizarding war I can tell my best friend I fancy her, but I really didn't want to tell you like this, in my brother's office getting angry I-,' he stopped mid-sentence. Catching his breath as he'd started to talk really fast. He looked like he was going to start talking again, but instead the look on his face changed, and Hermione became fully aware that he still hadn't let go of her arm.

At that point, something happened. Ron started to lean in, getting close to her face, and she found herself leaning too. he leaned in until their faces were almost touching, and brushed his lips against hers. It wasn't a kiss. Not really. But it was as good as one. He moved his hands to cup her face as the kiss deepened. And then that was it, Hermione was gone. The floodgates had opened, and everything that she had been feeling for the past few years came tumbling out as she kissed her best friend. She crumbled around him as any concern about their friendship faded away. She felt safe. She felt safe and it was wonderful.

Well, it was wonderful, until George came bursting into his office with a;

'Hermione, are you still in here I've got something to show – OH!'

The pair sprang apart, both of them looking sheepishly at George, who was grinning like he'd been given the best present.

'I'll just leave you two alone then shall I?' he said retreating back through the door, his eyebrows waggling all the while.

The door clicked shut, and Hermione and Ron were still standing there. Hermione didn't know how to feel, the ghost of Ron's kiss still dancing on her mouth. She looked up at him, wanting to say something but not being able to find the words. After a moment, Ron finally spoke, saying, 'Well. That's new.'

'Yeah it is,' Hermione replied

'Well, um. Look Hermione,' Ron continued, taking her hand, 'I don't know what this is, or where this is going to go. But let's try yeah? We could go out tomorrow for chips. Or coffee? Or chips and coffee? I dont know, but we could just see how this is going to work out. Because I actually do really want to try, whatever this is.'

'Yeah,' Hermione smiled 'that sounds like a plan'.

'Ok then,' Ron grinned back with a wink 'Right, now sod off, I've got to get back to work, don't want to keep George waiting, he's going to have come up with all sorts of jokes, wouldn't want all his hard work to go to waste.'

'Ok, I need to go find Ginny anyway,'

They both left back through the door, Ron heading back to the storeroom and Hermione to the stairs back to the shop floor. But before she could walk away completely, Ron grabbed her hand and pulled her forward, kissing her on the forehead.

'See you tomorrow, yeah?' he whispered.

'Yeah,' Hermione replied with a smile. And for the first time in a while, Hermione didn't feel quite so hopeless.


End file.
